Essence of You

Dr. Seuss “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You”

Rather profound words when you think about it. My bohemian readers, I have been rather M.I.A from this blog for a while, though I am sure you all get your beauty fixes from a vast number of other bloggers. Here is the reason for my absence (ignoring my perpetual battle with university work); I lost me. Now you might be thinking, how does one lose oneself? What does that even mean? Let me explain.

If you are anything like me, an extrovert, a self confessed ‘people person’, someone who thrives on the company of others; you may find that upon reflection, you almost define yourself based on your relationship with others. The bigger the role someone plays in your life, the more they tend to define you. For me this applies to friends, family and that all important significant other. Sadly dear reader, my long term partner and I drew our relationship to an end just over a month ago. While most people would agree, this leaves you feeling a little empty, it left me feeling something different as well. It made me question who I was.

So this blog post is really more for me than for anyone reading this. It is likely to have no structure or form and really just a reflection of me at my computer rambling on about my path to finding me.

Coming back to the Dr Seuss quote, I pose a question to you. Do YOU really know who YOU is? Sounds silly and many of you may say, “Of course, how could I not know me?”. But REALLY think about it. For me, right now, I am not entirely sure I do know me. Let me talk you through Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

On the first tier, you have physiological needs like sleep, food, water. I have been blessed, unlike many others with these basic needs having been met. We then move up to safety, with employment, resources, health. I have a safe stable home above my head thanks to some wonderful family, have a promising career ahead of me and no significant health concerns. Are you with me so far? My life sounds pretty good right now hey? We then have the concept of love and belonging in the hierarchy. I have supportive friends and a wonderful family. I cannot complain yet.

Following this we have esteem, this includes self esteem and confidence (no lack of this here), achievement ( I would like to think I have achieved things in my life) and respect for self and others (once again I would like to think I have this). The final piece of the hierarchy puzzle is self actualisation, finding a purpose, meaning and realising inner potential. The whole concept is on the premise that each level prepares you and makes you feel safe enough to take the next step up. Somehow this final tier eludes me. For all intents and purposes I have the correct foundation to help me get there. However as I have placed so much focus on my relationship with others I have neglected my relationship with me, possibly the most important person in my life.

I never took the time to step back and evaluate when my purpose was. ‘No one alive is Youer than You’, surely this means that with this uniqueness I have the ability to make a unique impact; something different to the 150 other people studying in my degree. I am still on a mission to find this inner potential, to reach self actualisation, but I am attempting to take a few steps in the right direction.

As selfish as it may sound, I am now living life for me. Not to please friends, family or partners, but for me. If I can be the truest version of myself, those who compliment me the best will automatically be in my life, at least that’s how I see it. The biggest step I have had to take is learning that being alone is okay. Going to see a movie alone, grabbing a coffee alone, seeing your favourite musician alone. It is all okay. Why do we always need others to validate our own enjoyment? That is not to say I have decided to become a loner and isolate myself, however if there is something I really want to experience, I refuse to let others dictate whether I not I can. This step has been truly liberating. I have never been a big advocate for mindfulness, but I have to say there just might be something to it.

The best way I have found to get in touch with me is honestly focus on my health. A healthy body creates the perfect vessel for a healthy mind and soul. This post is just full of cliché and cheese isn’t it? If you are in touch with your physical self, it paves the path for you to know your spiritual self too. BOOM more cheese. Okay on a serious note, I haven’t felt this good in a long time. Being more active, feeding my body some good fuels and getting out into the sun more has just been truly wonderful. It started off with me wanting to get rid of my ‘long term relationship’ body (you know after you hit that comfortable point and stop looking after your physique) so that I could get back into the dating scene. Then I got all reflective and realised, STOP DOING THIS FOR OTHER PEOPLE. Now I am doing it for MYSELF. It makes me feel good. Then guess what, when the time comes to have a serious relationship again, I won’t ever have that ‘long term relationship body’ again because I am not doing it to look good for HIM, but ME.

Sufficient ramble? I have a long way to go to reach self actualisation. Many of you may see this as a selfish and self involved path, but the way I see it, You is the only thing you have from you first breath to your last. Know You. Dr Seuss was onto something for sure. This blog may potentially have a few more soppy life posts and be rife with recipes, work outs and lifestyle as I journey to find me.

Beauty posts to come soon too.

Rambling complete.

xox your local bohemian

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